“It is not always what you wish for but It is the Gods plan which is store for us.”
It had been exactly One and a half year now, I was diagnosed for Triple negative Breast cancer and undergone for BCS (breast conservation surgery ).
My name is Kashaf, a happily married women blessed with beautiful daughter and it is my real story.
After my surgery doctor told me that I need to take 16 Chemotherapy, Yes 16 chemotherapy and 25 Radiations. I know it was more for any normal person. I did not know I would even survive after my 1st chemo session. But before starting chemotherapy I need to go for another surgery. That is chemo port insertion, it will help me to take my chemo injections easily.
After my 1st chemo session, I was almost dead. Just on the bed whole day and night, vomiting, loss of appetite. The experience was worst. After every chemo I was feeling like I want to die. I couldn’t bear the pain. I lost my hair, my skin become dark, my nails turned black, I became so skinny and ugly I hated my self to look into the mirror.
But I can’t give up like this I had a family to look after and even God doesn’t want me to either give up because he has some other plans.
After going through 12 chemotherapy I started looking at my body, I found out something unusual, I could see my tummy is growing than i thought it was because I am loosing weight that’s why I am looking like this.
But one day I just felt a movement inside me and I just told my self it can’t be, and even doctors told me it can’t happen but to clear my doubts I just checked and I freak out. I was “pregnant”. YES I knew it can’t happen I was on chemotherapy it just can’t happen, I thought the test must have gone wrong but for another thought I told my self just to clear my doubts let me visit my gynecologist .
So the very next day I visited my gynecologist. I told her about my condition and she examine me, it got conformed that I was pregnant. As soon as my pregnancy got confirmed all my treatments were stopped.
My gynecologist advice me not to continue with the pregnancy as it is not safe for me and even for the unborn. But before any decision is taken i need to get my scan done and know the exact fetus age.
When I was getting my sonography done i could see that my fetus had formed into unborn baby, I could see baby small hands and legs moving, I just made up my mind whatever happens I can’t kill the baby.
By evening my sonography reports came and it showed that I Am already 23 weeks pregnant and the baby is perfectly fine.
Now my gynecologis told me that if I want to abort the baby, I need to take court permission. As per the law after 20th weeks of pregnancy, abortion is not allowed, she advice me to visit well-known reputed doctors, all the medical professionals well shocked to hear my case and most interesting thing was that the unborn was perfectly fine.
More than me my doctors were freaking out. Nobody gave me permission to abort the unborn. Which i was also against it. But on the other side they even warn me about how would baby be, he might mentally retarded or his internal growth will be affected or he will have heart conditions or might have second cancer, and this made more freak out. But there no other way out but I have to give birth.
Alot of things were going in my mind. Will all this be true so how will I take care of my baby, will the baby survive or not? or what will if the baby is still born, like so many questions.
It was a very tuff time, having sleepless nights just worrying about future. Than I day I told my self just relax what will happen it will happen for good. “Hope” and “faith” was the only option. Hope that everything will be fine and Faith that God will not burden me so much which I can’t bear. I just started thinking positive.
And finally the day came My baby was born, Yes God blessed me with a Baby Boy and to my and everyone surprise,My baby was perfectly fine. He was normal, all his reports were normal his internal growth was normal, His blood reports were normal.It was a premature delivery as I could not postponed my other treatments further. But the baby was doing well.
And now my Baby boy turned a year old and he is still doing perfectly fine.
And even i am done with my treatments and started recovering.
Even got My PET scan done, all reports are normal.
Now leaving a normal life, whatever had happened to me taking as a good experience.
Cancer had thought me to be more patience,more calm, self love, to fight and never to give up in life.
I would just say Hope and positive thinking is the only way out to fight any situation.
Please do lemme know Am I the only one who had gone through this or there are others too.
Please do comment down.